why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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