Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume... http://tfl.nu/i7v6
  Replies (56) Good night (4607) Bad night (2243)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now. http://tfl.nu/6a5q
  Replies (17) Good night (973) Bad night (4110)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters. http://tfl.nu/nfga
  Replies (14) Good night (6166) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/2knl
  Replies (11) Good night (3696) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night http://tfl.nu/6b77
  Replies (7) Good night (816) Bad night (1467)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit." http://tfl.nu/w4dk
  Replies (8) Good night (2162) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am http://tfl.nu/oar5
  Replies (5) Good night (740) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it http://tfl.nu/mwwo
  Replies (7) Good night (1072) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms! http://tfl.nu/g8iv
  Replies (3) Good night (1090) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again... http://tfl.nu/3c0f
  Replies (2) Good night (752) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none. http://tfl.nu/avo6
  Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong. http://tfl.nu/gy5i
  Replies (2) Good night (333) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right http://tfl.nu/jxe2
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i realized i waste a lot of time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday. (616): i realized i waste a lot of time http://tfl.nu/b26v
  Replies (0) Good night (786) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging http://tfl.nu/88q4
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (275)

Randomize