I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
