Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.