he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass