Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
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I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.