i permit you to call me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
