The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
