a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
