So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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