I'm drive I can fine osifer
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
