Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
