Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she looked like the before picture.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
