He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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