i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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