it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
