So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
