I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
