I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
