i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
