Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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