I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize