Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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