Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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