Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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