so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
