i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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