Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
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