After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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