The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
