think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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