Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
