i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
