my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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