doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
