There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize