You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
