rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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