His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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