You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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