do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
