hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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