what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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