i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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