yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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