i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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