Plan B is the new Plan A
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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