I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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