Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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