I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
