Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
from now on my penis is your penis
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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