Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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