I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
