i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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