he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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