3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
