Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
