Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
