The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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