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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
