was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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