a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
