I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize