Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
