I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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