What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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