I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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