So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
