you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Randomize
