If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
