I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
