I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the condom got lost in my hair
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize