Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i barfeds in our rink
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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