It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Who died my cat blue again?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
