Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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