Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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